Your STUPID-19 test results
Hey man,
It’s your doctor. I’ve got bad news. You’ve tested STUPID-19 positive. Which one you ask? The big one of course. Please find below your diagnostic test report -
| Test | Observation | Comments |
|---|---|---|
| Mental input | Presence of imaginary conversations in unlikely scenarios observed | Remedy at the earliest by reading a book, learning a new language or starting an online course |
| Mental output | Patient exhibits problematic activities like partaking in political debates on meme page comment sections | Strong intervention of da homies with philosophical discussions and intellectual masturbation sessions required |
| Physical input | Stuffs face hole with maggi, sugary drinks masquerading as “fruit juice”, and foods that have gone through 17 stages of processing | Skip the delivery foods like you do the workouts and go for home cooked whole foods |
| Physical output | Maximum daily movement seen was walking to the door to collect food delivery | Get that ass moving with dance, running or some home YouTube workouts #FlattenYourCurves |
| Creative input | Severe deficiency of the following was observed | Watch those old classics in your list, read an autobiography, listen to music other than Nicki Minaj |
| Creative output | Alarmingly high concentration of TikTok videos and Instagram stories | Advised to paint, play a musical instrument, cook (also helps in survival), dance, write a blog or take a pottery class |
Final diagnosis - Tested positive for STUPID-19
Please undertake corrective action immediately to prevent permanent damage.
Yours truly,
Dr. T
The above is a work of fiction. All ideas are pure conjecture and all propositions can be assumed to be thought experiments.