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Your STUPID-19 test results

Hey man,

It’s your doctor. I’ve got bad news. You’ve tested STUPID-19 positive. Which one you ask? The big one of course. Please find below your diagnostic test report -

Test Observation Comments
Mental input Presence of imaginary conversations in unlikely scenarios observed Remedy at the earliest by reading a book, learning a new language or starting an online course
Mental output Patient exhibits problematic activities like partaking in political debates on meme page comment sections Strong intervention of da homies with philosophical discussions and intellectual masturbation sessions required
Physical input Stuffs face hole with maggi, sugary drinks masquerading as “fruit juice”, and foods that have gone through 17 stages of processing Skip the delivery foods like you do the workouts and go for home cooked whole foods
Physical output Maximum daily movement seen was walking to the door to collect food delivery Get that ass moving with dance, running or some home YouTube workouts #FlattenYourCurves
Creative input Severe deficiency of the following was observed Watch those old classics in your list, read an autobiography, listen to music other than Nicki Minaj
Creative output Alarmingly high concentration of TikTok videos and Instagram stories Advised to paint, play a musical instrument, cook (also helps in survival), dance, write a blog or take a pottery class

Final diagnosis - Tested positive for STUPID-19

Please undertake corrective action immediately to prevent permanent damage.

Yours truly,

Dr. T

The above is a work of fiction. All ideas are pure conjecture and all propositions can be assumed to be thought experiments.

Abhijit Tomar is an IIT Bombay alumnus currently working as a software developer at Microsoft. When he's not programming, he's usually out for a run.

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